tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-288836602024-03-19T15:18:31.929+03:00reveriethe temple of desolation...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.comBlogger69125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-84156987101015614542013-08-16T00:12:00.002+03:002013-08-16T00:12:42.316+03:00SKETCH BOOK<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">(trauma reveals)<br /> 'the simple dream of a noble man shattered<br /> shedding the same blood from his eternity<br /> his solution arise out of his mental fiction<br /> as if something missing in life's equation<br /> derivation of constants varied from origin<br /> seemed to prove the chosen way to follow<br /> misled entirely to the common destination<br /> <br /> he was supposed to be somewhere divine...</span> <br />
<br />
as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-63254140018874767992013-03-17T03:18:00.001+02:002013-03-17T03:18:19.880+02:00PATH OF ETERNITYHayatimi bana kim emanet etmisse onu yeterince uzdum, tasiyamadim onu kanatlarimin ustunde...terkedilmis ve yalniz biraktim...hic yapamadigimiz seyleri anlatirken mukemmelizdir ya, kendi yalanimiza bile inanmayi sevmisiz, bugun dudaklar susacak kelimeler sessizligin derinlerinden cikacak. <br />
<br />
Uyandim bu sabah, her sabah uyandigimi sandigim gibi, kendi hayal dunyamdan aynaya baktim, yorgun gozlerle duman kokan bedenime, pastel renklerin esir aldigi gozlerime ve onun donuklugunda kaybolmus bir hayata bakiyorum, yuzumdeki huznun kalin bir kalemle cizdigi kirisikliklarda kirilmis bir sonbahar goruyorum...biliyorum o beni hic affetmeyecek, cunku tek sorunu bana biraktigi hayati terketmek degildi sorun, sevmesem de alismam lazimdi ama uymadi sanki bedenle ikisi...olsun ressam boyle cizmisti...<br />
<br />
Yorgunluktan firtinaya direnemeyen ahsap bir bina gibi cokerken, eklemlerin ic giciklayan sesini artik duyamaz olmusum, yildizlar avuclarimdan kacarken hiriltili bir sesle de olsa elveda demeye calisiyorum...kurumus dudaklarimdan o bile cikmiyor gibi...aradigini bilmeden ciktigim yolculuk surgun oldu ve simdi son misralarini fisildiyorum...<br />
<br />
Dreaming of a light is my final will<br />
Let the sunset surround the skin<br />
To teach me the wisdom of life<br />
Then i shall depart from the homeland<br />
<br />
This is my way, a mysterious way<br />
Knowing this is a ceremony of hope<br />
Leaving the darkness inside out<br />
My heart has no feeling anymore...<br />
<br />
My tears belie my upheaval pleasures<br />
As if i foresee the tragic destination<br />
'Welcome my friend to the eternity'<br />
Deep inside of the scarlet Hades...<br />
<br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-8258544062749889732013-02-25T00:05:00.000+02:002013-02-25T00:05:02.429+02:00silence is lauder than me....the sunlight is dark enough <br />
so help me bury the light...<br />
<br />
as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-22652652664178088052012-07-11T01:32:00.001+03:002012-07-11T01:32:30.551+03:00where you belong...under crimson hues of the moon<br />
i have dreams to speak of<br />
yet silence as well fear from the dark<br />
if only the dreams illuminate the way<br />
somehow my steps become weary<br />
to see beyond the misty horizon<br />
to see where you belong...<br />
<br />
the sands of hourglass released from my hands<br />
i ken they reveal the reality of the night<br />
confusion is the poison of my mind<br />
i feel hope is still alive<br />
maybe my eyes welcome the dusk<br />
to see the mighty sunlight<br />
to see where you belong...<br />
<br />
confusion of time drifting my memory<br />
i am falling into the vortex of dreams<br />
so strange that i can't stay awake<br />
the moments are so delusive<br />
as if years passed within this dimension<br />
my soul grow faster than the skin<br />
i feel the dark is coming...<br />
<br />
now i see where you belong...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-56133788674276202592011-11-28T16:50:00.001+02:002011-11-28T17:03:52.153+02:00lethal love' the night was dark<br />
with occasional gleams of moonlight<br />
between the rents of the heavy clouds<br />
that scudded across the sky'*<br />
it was the first time he ever told<br />
his profound feelings to his Eternal<br />
without knowing what the response be<br />
a relapsed intimacy lessened the desire<br />
transparent distraction revealed the amity<br />
to pretend as if such words never spelled<br />
he seized the bitter reality as well<br />
she was the One, he was the Desolate<br />
they became the poles of a magnet<br />
<br />
she repulsed the dream<br />
with her velvet voice, yet so kind<br />
as the dust over the future wiped out<br />
this pain in vein last forever<br />
(his) blood of love shedding from the heart<br />
was neither living nor he was dead<br />
once he passed away that could never again<br />
'and proved the ever truth he most abhorred'*<br />
passion of love enchanted to his entity<br />
lest his soul would burdened with misery<br />
without the vision of her Angelic visage<br />
his wisdom relieved toface up the saviour<br />
to retain the illusions of the Reverie...<br />
<br />
as long as you believe...<br />
<br />
*from Bram Stoker 'Dracula'Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-62270269117672803512011-11-03T17:00:00.000+02:002011-11-03T17:00:22.932+02:00return of lady 'DARK'<span style="font-size: large;"><b>pt I. the weary tomorrow</b></span><br />
<br />
how can thou such distant even lying nigh thou<br />
thy eyes doth cry, shed argent tears for 'morrow<br />
<br />
thou sayst wilt ne'er more seduce my transparency<br />
yet thine tendency belieth my oblivion against<br />
<br />
<br />
woeful divisions we parteth through the Hades<br />
so thou and i repent for our mutual destiny<br />
<br />
'twas the nature of failings reducing ethereal trust<br />
wonder how strength thy bare leading of intercourse<br />
<br />
the Angel respect'd the infinity for thy wisdom<br />
somewhere in time thou wilt lighteth my night<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>pt II. secret intruder</b></span><br />
<br />
thine dusk lettin' follow my mighty cure<br />
in my own depression i complicateth the day<br />
<br />
assymetric feelings indicateth the true path<br />
my deepest emotions remain'd then our faith<br />
<br />
the totem philosophy deviseth on to thee<br />
wither'd tenfold even to the virtual respect<br />
<br />
dreadful confusion by the end of same dream<br />
once i believeth, still i am crawling to thee<br />
<br />
thou chain'd me without knowing thy spell<br />
on most surfaces i cherish'd my satisfaction<br />
<br />
as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-8429957080114702992011-10-31T19:11:00.000+02:002011-11-07T10:44:43.451+02:00SYMBOL OF ETERNITY<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzx2DUqmHSsJtdVb4vLrh815eY2MlNOwdmPReH1S8D5nJqJIrnSelSnfgvrx3K8ZxNMx1EU_PVD1boNIuiRWFjrz6NTWlU8lJq0IRkBlg8TI6O9OvB48wSBTtYXdb3r9Pkgmiu/s1600/symbol+of+eternity.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzx2DUqmHSsJtdVb4vLrh815eY2MlNOwdmPReH1S8D5nJqJIrnSelSnfgvrx3K8ZxNMx1EU_PVD1boNIuiRWFjrz6NTWlU8lJq0IRkBlg8TI6O9OvB48wSBTtYXdb3r9Pkgmiu/s320/symbol+of+eternity.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SYMBOL OF ETERNITY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
(nobleculture ptII)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the crypts of a mysterious culture</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
radiating a noble feeling from heart</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
seems reflected from the other side</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the splendid knowledge of mankind</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
unleashed the enigma of sanity</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
an astral divinity beyond the horizon</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
darker than death, brighter than life</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
where the reveries and reals bound</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
a mental illusion enlighted the paradox</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
as if the symbol of eternity devised</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
that was the repetition of same tragedy</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
so...the merchant of dreams returned</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
from his ethereal survey of death</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
his hands full of gilded hopes</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
picked up from the distant stars</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the cynical aspect for the alteration</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
withered by his profound vision</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
as his compass was pointing the haven</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
realities blotted the map of iluusions out</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
destination of route still hidden</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
where the coast of eternity signed</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
yet the dreadful storms drifted to misery</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
was it an easy decision to hoist the sail</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
as suicide lays on the edge of this ocean</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
as long as you believe...</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-49173464234987657342011-10-20T20:11:00.000+03:002011-10-20T20:11:41.395+03:00eternal...what is forever? what is eternal?<br />
what a mystical strange question<br />
a neverending search in the time<br />
<br />
over the dusty shelves of solitude library<br />
the holy book with an old binding, torn papers<br />
as if waiting a noble hand to serve itself<br />
<br />
from the first page it crowns the whole alchemy<br />
even reigns with unknown words of an unknown alphabet<br />
has her secret power without God<br />
as if she says<br />
'i am the one what is eternal'<br />
<br />
a prophet with innocent hands<br />
opened her hard cover softly<br />
fearing to hurt her Angellike flesh<br />
<br />
the smell of holy dust inside<br />
hardly breathed, yet unwillingly lungs had<br />
as if they knew her secret against God<br />
<br />
flowers, sun, sea and all the life elements<br />
incurably had that spell on the own soul<br />
cruel the time, celebrated that funeral<br />
as if he knows<br />
she is the one what is eternal<br />
<br />
as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-47371331737802264292011-10-20T19:54:00.000+03:002011-10-20T19:54:08.177+03:00death of a city...among the wild seas, deep down to dreams<br />
the sun never rised, whole kingdom hidden below<br />
fortress of love crumbled, then the deepest sleep<br />
as a treasure Atlantis, left inside in a soft way<br />
left to die in a lofty way with its whole heaven<br />
<br />
running down is rising above the skies<br />
painless, fearless through Atlantis' heart<br />
each sight magics me, i fear to love you<br />
<br />
down to cold waters<br />
back to dead city<br />
city of sadness, darkness<br />
with whole misery Atlantis<br />
<br />
Atlantis carry me to your lost paradise<br />
embrace under that shineless blue sun<br />
all i've seen has no shade on you<br />
<br />
down to cold soil<br />
back to Angels city<br />
city of pleasure, peace<br />
with whole beauty Atlantis<br />
<br />
as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-54675647397358693352011-10-20T19:35:00.001+03:002011-10-20T19:37:27.211+03:00miracleas a motherhood instinct you embraced<br />
you've coiled me up in your hands<br />
your love as an aegis covered me<br />
<br />
as a weary rose of your sorrow garden<br />
wished to stay with your august dew<br />
i feared to be alone without you<br />
<br />
i have the moon in my hands<br />
clauds lying below my body<br />
i wondered when would the night come<br />
to present that dreamy gift to you<br />
if only i could paralyze the scene in my mind<br />
to share my miracle with you<br />
<br />
Angels whisper that elegy everytime<br />
you've stolen the days from me<br />
in the eternal desolation i am living<br />
but my hands are opened for you<br />
if only i could hold my love in my hands<br />
to share that miracle for you<br />
<br />
you know how long i could live<br />
and the days you've stolen from me<br />
eternity, you promised is nolonger mine<br />
<br />
if i need to be myself<br />
i could be with my miracle<br />
if only i could hold my love in my hands<br />
<br />
as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-12522193559154214912011-10-16T12:53:00.000+03:002011-10-16T12:53:20.964+03:00birth of a dream...NOBLECULTUREyour silver eyes clasped my heart<br />
i have your dismal dream every night<br />
anytime i wake in the lake of tears<br />
i find your illusion towards with your whole beauty<br />
you dance with my shadow on the walls<br />
<br />
your culture is diffusing from your silk flesh<br />
it crowns, how a splending beauty rain<br />
tempting like moonlight of vast nights<br />
under your Angelic whispers i dissolved<br />
your noble culture intruded in my presence<br />
<br />
now i feel you in me<br />
<br />
Venus' daughter, Goddess of love<br />
our memory in my hands, i'm fading<br />
lonely through my forlorn hades<br />
if only you consider me<br />
<br />
i feel you in me...<br />
(feb.1998)<br />
<br />
as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-89117963649522096702011-10-16T12:15:00.000+03:002011-10-16T12:15:10.393+03:00a note from the past... ptIICROW VISION<br />
<br />
flying beyond the dusk<br />
over the city of diversions<br />
hatred leading the entire surface<br />
wondering then how to share<br />
<br />
the crow looked down on dark<br />
dreaming an illusion for the fate<br />
so, got closer to the tree<br />
seeking upheaval branch to stay<br />
as if to spread his desires<br />
<br />
his grey furs under the rain<br />
became paler by the ice drops<br />
then the night soothed eyes<br />
moon reduced the rising anger<br />
yet something wrong in this dream<br />
illusions set back for the moment<br />
to confess the reality otherwise<br />
a sudden shriek tore the silence<br />
the bitter pain caressed his skin<br />
tears joint the blood for awhile<br />
until he chose the Hades to fly<br />
<br />
the wounded crow opened his wings<br />
cold sole eyes focused to horizon<br />
staring through the crimson future<br />
ceasing the emotional destination<br />
a long trail lying for the feast<br />
05.03.2004...<br />
<br />
as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-79453593521652996512011-10-16T12:00:00.000+03:002011-10-16T12:00:29.951+03:00a note from the past...FRAGILE DESTINY<br />
<br />
the fire of eternal feelings<br />
driving me through the upheaval tears<br />
it's the divinity of this moment<br />
spinning around my entity<br />
heired dimly from the ancient desires<br />
one love required to get out<br />
trapped in myself to reinforce<br />
the transparent beauty of pleasure<br />
i've drunken the wine of eternity<br />
yet i knew it was far away<br />
<br />
since i am burning down here<br />
the feeble august shedding misery<br />
influence the theory of levitation<br />
the scene soothed my skin awhile<br />
then the future became visible<br />
i wondered if this was m decision<br />
<br />
every tear has the story own<br />
telling the tragedy of insanity<br />
searching if my Reverie's my destiny<br />
confused to see her tendency<br />
this must be the seventh sin<br />
i confess, as well i deserved the Hades<br />
<br />
as i was diving deep inside<br />
found myself spelled by heart<br />
the fragile expectations shattered then<br />
merely to prove my failings<br />
as long as i begone wrong<br />
i confess, i've already deserved the Hades<br />
04.08.2004...<br />
<br />
as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-28495254099159141472011-10-09T01:06:00.000+03:002011-10-09T01:06:35.600+03:00I SURRENDERcok bilindik bir klise vardir, 'dunyaya bir daha gelsem'...kendi icerisinde celisen bir cumle gibi gelmeye basladi, cunku ikinci bir sans verilse yapmam dedigimiz hatalari belki yapmayiz ama dunya o kadar hassas dengeler uzerine oturmus ki belki kacindigimiz bir hata neticesinde yarina dair bir baska gelecek yaratacak ve bugun sahip olduklarimiza belki sahip olamayagiz, bu kadar soyut bir konuyu somut bir gercekle ortaya koyamam ama en basitinden belki suan bunlari kaleme almiyordum belki bu blog hic varolmayacakti...kimbilir?<br />
<br />
buradan tevekkul felsefesi ile yasanan hayati kabullenme uzerine bir kanaat belirtmek tarzim degildir...cikartilacak sonuc yarini yasamanin herkes icin bir nedeni vardir, belki bulundugumuz zaman dilimi icerisinde bunu pek algilamamiz mumkun olmayabilir...sadece bu yeryuzu surgununde gidebildigimiz yere kadar gidebilmek mantigi olustu son zamanlarda<br />
<br />
as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-4965302181412236142011-08-09T02:57:00.001+03:002011-08-09T02:58:53.259+03:00visionaire...<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-42414853730846691292011-07-23T15:40:00.001+03:002011-07-28T01:09:14.567+03:00handmade infinity<link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Cneckos%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Cneckos%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Cneckos%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">rising moon belies the truth</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">tonight i release the stars</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">my hands full of deep scars</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">could not hold them forever</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">you know i just can imagine</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">a world that i wouldn’t be in</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">that is the other side of me</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">cruel, senseless, unhuman</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">‘memories of the crying clouds</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">visualize the decayed pleasures</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">as they flew away from my mind</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span lang="EN-US">i was drowning in my own feelings<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">if only we would be in the scene</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">of your handmade infinity...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">you were telling your dream</div><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">i was dreaming my departure’</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">tonight the feelings get in shape</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">of a mystic desolation…can be?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">suicide of the moments reflect</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">the alteration of my life…can’t be?</div> <span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
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as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-30498551506324263352011-06-05T23:45:00.000+03:002011-06-05T23:45:58.858+03:00yeryuzu surgunu...pt III<div style="text-align: justify;">yasam en buyuk tiyatro, ve biz zavalli oyunculari, dogaclama oynamaya calisiyoruz, peki ya hayatin dekoru muzigi kurgusu? ne buyuk bir produksiyon ama bu sahneyi ne zaman terketmemiz gerektigini hic bilemedik, kendimizi yalnizliga ittigimiz zamanlarda bile hic kendimizle basbasa kalamadik...zaman gectikce sadece heyecandan yoksun bir kalp, yuzde beliren yeni cizgiler, usengec bir kalem, ne istedigini bildigini sanan bir beyin, surgune asik olmus bir ruh ve buna benzer daha sayamayacagimiz neler neler kaliyor geride...cevap veremeyecegim sorularin ustune yeniler ekleniyor...biliyorum buraya kadar cok klise cumleler ama beni yoran en buyuk soru sonsuzluga ulasmak icin daha ne kadar basamak tirmanmam gerekiyor bu surgunde...</div><br />
as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-72099910475639078922010-01-11T03:10:00.002+02:002011-06-05T16:19:02.244+03:00meaning of time...<div style="color: white; text-align: justify;">anilarimi saklayacak bir albume hic gerek duymadim, hangi guzel hatiram vardi ki tozlu raflardan siyah beyaz resimlerle dolu bir album cikartip tebessum edeyim hatta kizinca yirtmak zorunda hissettiklerimden de olmadi, kimi kandirabilirim ki? benim hic fotografim olmadi gecmisten yarina goturecegim...en guzel kareler hafizamda sakladiklarim ve elimle cizebildiklerim...onlarin da icinde hic ben olamadim, bir kenardan oturup izledim sadece...</div><div style="color: white; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: white; text-align: justify;">ve simdi bu karanligi hafizamla beraber mezara goturuyorum, gidiyorum bu renklerin olmadigi dunyadan renk nedir bilmeden...hic esnekligi olmadi duygularin, siyah ve beyaz birbirinin zitti midir?ask ile nefret arasindaki nedir?hep en ucundaydim hayatin acaba bir ortasi var miydi? yola cikmisken sorgulanacak seyler degil bunlar, oyle ya da boyle noktasi konmus bir hayat benimki...vurgusu son noktanin kagidi delmesinden belli olsa gerek ardimda ne kaldigini merak bile etmiyorum cunku ben kendimi mutlu etmedim ki baskasini mutlu edebileyim...</div><div style="color: white; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: white; text-align: justify;">bir zamanlar bir savas varmis iyimser ile kotumser arasinda, iyimser baris olacagini zannetmis savasin sonunda, kotumser ise maglubiyeti bastan kabullenmis ve elindeki herseyi kaybedecegini dusunmus, iyimser baris umudu ile ilerledikce kotumser gerilere dogru cekilmis ta ki cekilecek yeri kalmayana kadar...iyimser elini uzatmis bitsin bu anlamsiz savas barisalim diye, kotumser de esaret sanmis bunun sonunu gururuna yedirememis intihar etmis...kazanan kim olabilir ki bu tereddutun sonunda? kazanan gercekler olmus ruyalar kaybetmis...iste beynimin bu paraoksunda gel-gitlerle yasanmis bir oyun, bir omur....kimine gore kisa bana gore ise yeterince uzun...kendi kendini bitirebilecek kadar uzun...bardagin neresinden bakarsan bak suyun kaynagini bilmedikce yarisi dolu olmus yarisi bos olmus ne kadar onemli?</div><div style="color: white; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: white; text-align: justify;">gunes yeniden dogar ve yeni bir gun diye sariliriz hayata kotu bir gunun ardindan...umut hayalperestin ilham perisidir ama gercegi dunun aynisidir, belki saclara biraz daha beyazlik dokulur, goz altina yani bir cizgi daha ceker ressam, biraz daha yorulmusuzdur belki de...iyi tarafindan bakayim, sona dogru yalastigin bir gun daha basliyor...cok daha iyimser olayim hayatin anlamini bulursun...birgun bitecegini bildigin seyin anlamini ogrenmek insani onu kaybetme korkusunu enjekte etmez mi damarlarina...zaman daha zalim bir gerisayima donusmez mi?</div><div style="color: white; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: white; text-align: justify;">simdi tekrar basa doneyim, fotograflarin anlami nedir gozumde?kizinca yirtilan ya da hatirladikca tebessum ettiren ve yasanmis birseyin tekrarini...yani gecmisi ozleten nesneler...peki yasadigin anin anlami bu tereddutlerin neresinde?biri bana bunu anlatsin?</div><div style="color: white;"><br />
</div><div style="color: white;">as long as you believe...</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-90462854614492286602009-12-28T05:52:00.000+02:002009-12-28T05:52:34.008+02:00story of a manthis is the story of a man in slumber<br />
exiled from the kingdom of imagination<br />
a tender mind poisoned by the reality<br />
yet something left innocent in the heart<br />
to find the way back after his death<br />
this is the story of me lying in slumber<br />
time for an awake from my noble suicide<br />
<br />
i am back again with my grown desolation<br />
staring the room where i locked reveries<br />
here is the place where hope lies tomorrow<br />
knowing that illusions playing the same drama<br />
feeling that i am the only visitor of this theatre<br />
having my seat from the first row<br />
pretending as if living my first dream<br />
<br />
all the memories of lethe wounding me<br />
i don't want to remember old pleasures<br />
back here to learn everything again<br />
confused if i tasted those before<br />
the silver tears of past melted down<br />
now wiping them from my shedding eyes<br />
letting myself through the final tide<br />
<br />
as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-53694252290347569182009-12-28T04:30:00.003+02:002009-12-28T04:43:35.248+02:00an exile to reality...<div align="justify">paslanmis ellerimden kendi yalnizligimin kapisina geldim tekrar...anahtari karanliga ragmen bulmam guc olmadi paspasin altindan, kaygim olmadi hicbir zaman ben yokken birileri gelir de buralari kurcalar diye...iste yine kendime dondugum anlardan biri ve yine yalnizligimla basbasayim...<br /><br />kapinin ic giciklayan sesine aldiris etmeden odada sanki baskasi varmis gibi sessizligi bozmadan girdim dunyama aslinda yalnizligim vardi ama onu da rahatsiz etmek istemedim...kisa bir sure yetti herseyin yerli yerinde oldugunu anlamam icin...isigin olmadigi bir yerde neyin nerede oldugunu bilebilmek icin aslinda korun ezberi gerekir, benim ona da ihtiyacim yok cunku hayallerle dekore ettigim bu odada ancak hayal gucu olanlar gorebilir renkleri ve isigi...<br /><br />iste evimdeyim ve kendimleyim...gercegin surgununden yeni dondum...<br /><br />as long as you believe...</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-57858645644718334892009-07-13T03:36:00.002+03:002009-07-13T03:39:07.547+03:00angels among us...<div align="left">A dream woke me from reality<br />Looking further upon a mountain<br />Horizon blinded by the clouds<br />If i knew a step beyond is death<br />I let myself down this eternity<br />Yet i knew angels among us<br />Woke me to another day…<br /><br />The diary of suicide is already written<br />One more day to live or infinity<br />It’s the fate of mortal beliefs<br />The spelly words wither by this line<br />My mind playing a cruel game<br />What if i believe this illusion<br />What if i withdraw…addicted<br /><br />Passion painted the dark skies<br />Angels become visible by then<br />The meaning of gloom altered<br />Confusion is the new taste of blood<br /><br />Exiled to Gaia’s dream<br />As well there will be light<br />Whether it shines or not<br />Whether it caress or not<br />Angels will (always)be among us</div><p align="left">as long as you believe... </p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-71441157661520559212009-07-13T02:48:00.001+03:002009-07-13T02:50:21.052+03:00INTIHAR GUNLUGU<div align="justify">Dunu kopyala bugune yapistir…nedense pek de bir degisim yasanmis gibi gorunmuyor, hayat paketinden bir gunu daha cektim cigerlerime…bu belirsizlik ne kadar surer bilnmez ama yasanacak gun kalmayinca bitmis bir sigara paketi gibi atilacagim mezarligima, cesaretin bedelini yasayarak oduyorum bu surgunde…</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Bu surgune belki bir isim vermek lazim belki her gununu not almak lazim, degisim hayatin anlami ki beklentileri diri tutsun, umut denen ates hep yansin ufukta gitmek icin bir sebep olsun…yasanmislarin arkamdakilere bir yol gosterse ancak bu kadar karanlik bir yol birakabilirdim…bundan farklisini bekleyen her saniyemi tekrar yasamasi gerekirdi…gunes her zaman dogar ama her zaman aydinlatamaz, her zaman isitamaz ki belki bu yuzden dunya sirtini doner…kavusamayacak iki asik gibiler kimine gore uzak kimine gore yakin…ama tam da durmalari gereken mesafede…ben gibi…</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Intihar gunlugunun bir sayfasi daha dolmak uzere ve ben yine sirtimi hayata cevirdim…ruyalar da kandiramiyor ki artik inanacak bir peri masali da yok bildigim…inanmaya bu kadar hazir bir cocugu kandiramamis yalanci bir hayatin labirentinde cikis yolunu ariyorum…keske yasagimiz gunleri yazan kalemin arkasinda bir silgi olsaydi da daha ilk gunden silebilseydim hic dogmamis gibi…</div><div align="justify"> </div>Sevgili gunluk…intiharimin gunlugu senden ozur dilerim bugunu de yasattigim icin sana…<br /><br />as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-10721803469872638902009-04-15T15:52:00.001+03:002009-04-15T15:54:35.135+03:00eski bir hikayeydi ask...YARINA MEKTUP<br /><br />mum isiginda isinan duygularimi<br />senin ruzgarina biraktim korkmadan<br />ruyalarinda yasamayi arzularken<br />zihnimde ayrilik siirleri de topladim<br />sanki bugunu yasiyacagimi biliyormus<br />casinagozyasi dokemeyecek kadar yorgun gozlerim<br />kaybolan hayaline veda ediyor bu gece<br />islak yastigima sarildim senmissin gibi<br />sen bana hic mektup yazmazdin oysa;<br />ilk yazdigin boyle mi olmaliydi?<br />kagit biraz kirisik, kosesi yirtikti<br />belli ki sen de agliyorsun benimle...<br />bugulu pencereme yeniden yazdim adini<br />elim biraz titrek, harfleri karistirdim<br />belki gidisini ciziyordu; kimbilir<br />sonra sildim, cunku yoktun artik<br />gerceklerle ruyalari karistirir oldum<br />ellerim tekrar mektubuna sarildi bilinmezce<br />avuclarimdan siyrilan yarini bilmeyi ister gibi<br />umudu aradim terkedilmenin cumlelerinde<br />kurumus gul yapraklarinda yalnizligi buldum<br />sen, ben ve yirtik bir fotograf, hepsi buydu...<br />sanirim umutlar da karanligina hapsolmustu<br />murekkebin bitmis olsa gerek cumlen yarim kalmis<br />ansizin 'hersey bitti' deyip susmussun<br />saskinligimi gizleyemedim sordum satirlarina<br />ne zaman bir olmustuk ki, simdi ayriliyoruz?<br /><br />as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-43206297767481308002009-04-15T14:52:00.002+03:002009-04-15T14:57:51.990+03:00eski bir hikayeydi ask...RUYALARIN SONU<br /><br />kelimelerin anlami olsaydi<br />konusmak isterdim yorgun sabahlara<br />bugun, dunden de gecikmistim<br />kusturmustum kucuk dunyama gunesi<br />kisik sesimle cikan bir fisilti<br />sanki hic anlatilmamis bir hikayeydi<br />belki de hic yasanmamis bir hatira<br />dusundum;meger onlar da gercek degilmis<br />tanimsiz olan ben miydim, yoksa bu sehir mi?<br />Ankara; karanlik bir sehir<br />yarini gostermeyecek kadar acimasiz<br />dar sokaklarindan akarken umudun sonuk isiklarina<br />kucuk avuclarimla sarilmak istedim hayaline<br />meger ruyalarin da sonu varmis yagmurlar gibi<br />sen de bu sonbaharin en uzun yagmuruydun belki<br />gozyaslarima karistin biraz tedirgin<br />senin ruzgarina biraktim kendimi<br />islanmaktan da korkmadim hicbir zaman<br />ben sana geldigimde, sen benden vazgecmistin<br />bedenime inat yalnizligima yagiyordun<br />bizimkis bir oyundu aslinda<br />ben yalnizligi oynadim sense masal perisini<br />bu benim tercihim miydi yoksa senin mi?<br />sonra guldum kaderime<br />kaybeden bir ben degildim bu oyunda<br />zaman kendisiyle yarisiyordu bu gecebu mektup bana son vasiyetindi<br />sen olmeden ben oldum her satirinda<br />kanatlanmak istedim misralardan once sana<br />oysa bitmez sandigim ruya coktan bitmisti<br />yolum da bitmisti ictigim sigaramla<br />ben sana geldigimde, sen coktan gitmistin<br />yirtik mektubumu birakmissin ardinda...<br />hic sevemedim kum saatlerini<br />yuzume carpardi zamanin sensiz akisini<br />dunyaya kizdim nedenini bilmeden<br />sanki kum taneleri geriye aksa ne olurdu<br />zaman geriye dogru gitseydi bana aciyarak<br />sever miydin ki beni?<br />sen benden baska benimle olan herseyi sevdin<br />bense senden baska hicbir seyi sevemedim<br />belki yarin hic yasamamisim gibi unutacaksin<br />yirttigin mektuplar gibi yirtacaksin beni hatiralarindan<br />gozyasimin ne anlami kalir o zamanseni govdeme kazidim gorkemli bir cinar gibi<br />duvarimdaki en buyuk catlak sen oldun<br />detaylari elimle tamamladim ressam sanip kendimi<br />sonra resmini opup uyudum...<br />ruyamda sana dogru yuruyordum<br />yaklastikca, sen uzaklastin benden<br />sana cennetimi sunmak icin yorulmadan ilerledim<br />ben sana geldigimde, sen coktan gitmistin<br />ruzgarinla isindim evinin kapisinda...<br />seni hep puslu canim ardindan izledim<br />pencereyi acip uzanmak istedigimde<br />birden hayalin kayboldu, kendi sonsuzluguma dustum<br />yalnizdim bu acilar denizinde; sen gitmistin<br />ben seni sevdigimde, sen coktan terketmistin<br />terkedilmenin anlamini hic bilmesen bile...<br /><br />as long as you believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28883660.post-8738472820942448822009-03-06T10:09:00.005+02:002009-03-06T10:31:08.939+02:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_fH3KU7zLmem0hwT92njNFHvYuEIGILOx9dBY-BkR9nbaOZ6QFrW5HFdFu-Rj-Z7Ciz5NroXuWFq_zxq1jin7uR84UwWxOioXUrFE9deSDWaJKAa9WnzKh3P6NuAZgy6WR0M8/s1600-h/3d_510.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 404px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 168px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5309985209197436418" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_fH3KU7zLmem0hwT92njNFHvYuEIGILOx9dBY-BkR9nbaOZ6QFrW5HFdFu-Rj-Z7Ciz5NroXuWFq_zxq1jin7uR84UwWxOioXUrFE9deSDWaJKAa9WnzKh3P6NuAZgy6WR0M8/s200/3d_510.jpg" /></a><br /><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">THIS IS THE HEAVEN</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">in the high dimension of White illusions</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">i was waiting the rain to clean yesterday </span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">even a little hope could make me believe</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">i knew i was drifting through my fiction</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">a mighty instinct that i couldn't resist</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">it was the paradox of White and the abuse</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">i tasted them all until i postponed the end<br /></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">now the White is black and i'm far away</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">back in the silent waters of loneliness</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">farewell the funeral of humane feelings</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">i am in the final destination of light</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">just the blinds can see further here</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">all the emotions slipped down my skin</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">i feel purified by the mortal delusions<br /></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">here is the place where i am far away...</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">as i close my eyes, then i can see colors</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">of mighty night shedding purple and red</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">without fear staggering down the dreams</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">yet i can see the sky is shattered mirror</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">reflecting the dark scenes of my life</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">every piece wounds my frozen memories<br /></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">this is the place that i name Far Away</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">at where the ravens living within chaos</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">seems all the colors paled in the heart</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">standing through the edge of an abyss</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">i let the time leak down to eternity</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">methinks this is the confusion of moon</span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">whether to revive the dying temptation<br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">i'm dying as if i'm sleeping for eternity</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:lucida grande;">as long as you believe...</span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01458476123473432970noreply@blogger.com0